April 26/2007
We hope that you are all enjoying yourselves this evening but we’re going to ask that you indulge us and allow us to get serious for a few minutes. I want to first quickly explain the significance of the apple as the foundation logo, the apple centerpieces on your tables and the apple themed sponsorship levels. Mack loved apples, they were by far his favourite food to eat. He barely ate junk food, he had no interest in it but he ate 5-8 apples a day. The apple is simply a tribute to him. When Mack died 9 months ago and the idea of a foundation in his memory began to form, we had no idea how it would grow and turn into what The Mack Belson Foundation has become today.
The support, compassion and generosity extended by this community has been nothing short of remarkable and our family, our fellow board members and we especially, are truly grateful. The purpose of The Mack Belson Foundation, to help learning disabled children stemmed from the fact that Mack had a learning disability, an auditory processing disorder. He was flourishing because he was receiving the help that he needed however the process of diagnosing this disability and finding the proper help wasn’t easy.
When it was first determined that something wasn’t quite right, we started with the requisite hearing test which was fine, from there a speech assessment which resulted in a referral to the autism spectrum disorder clinic. When I called the Montreal Children’s for an appointment, I was told that there was a year waiting list which I found incredible and unacceptable at the same time. I was able to get an appointment at The Douglas hospital where the wait was ‘only’ 3 months, still a lifetime when you want to get your child the help they need, but it was better than a year's wait. We went to this appointment and the psychologists informed us after a detailed assessment that we were not dealing with autism. We already knew this, not out of denial but by the simple fact that we had educated ourselves and knew that Mack was not autistic.
The process of diagnosis is a process of elimination. You have to go through each stage and eliminate it in order to move on to the next phase, Mack was then referred to the Occupational therapy clinic at the Douglas and after another detailed assessment, we were given a report and told that that we were dealing with certain motor delays and that was it. Months had passed, we had been through rounds of assessments and workshops and we still did not know what we were dealing with, we did not have a diagnosis. By asking around and out of sheer luck and good timing, we were referred to Dorothy Notkin, an occupational therapist to whom we will forever be grateful.
Dorothy was the first person who was able to clearly define what we were dealing with. I cannot explain the relief and the joy that we felt finally knowing what we were dealing with. Mack, besides being one of the happiest, good natured and sweetest boys, was extremely intelligent. We simply wanted to get him the help that he needed. When we first started to read up on auditory processing disorders, we could not understand why it couldn’t be officially diagnosed until around age 8. After several months of therapy, we understood.
Every month that passed brought with it changes. As Mack developed, the disability evolved and we saw the changes. The day before Mack died, he was playing with his musical instruments. He loved music and it was a learning tool for him., He was playing away and I said to him, “look at you playing with your maracas” and he looked up at me and he said “these are not maracas Mummy, these are castanets”. In that one moment, speaking this 8 word sentence, we knew that he was going to be ok. Of course, there would be issues to deal with along the road but ultimately, Mack would thrive. We worked hard with Mack, always coming up with games and ways to help him communicate when he did not have the words to do so. We were always in sync.
Why am I telling you all this. For those of you who have gone through the assessment and diagnosis of a learning disability, this must all sound very familiar. For those of you who do not have deal with this, we want you to understand what is involved. And for those of you who are just beginning or are in the middle or will be in this place sometime in the future, we want you to know that it is up to you as parents, to actively and aggressively seek out the help your child needs. If you depend on others to do it like the government or social services, you will be sorely disappointed and your child will get lost in the shuffle and suffer as a result. There is no government funding and the costs can be exorbitant, too much for many families to handle. The schools may help identify that there is a problem but only you as parents can begin the long process of finding out what your child needs.
As Randy Zucker, the director of the JPPS children’s centre that both Ruby and Mack attended and a grant board member of this foundation, told me 2 years ago, you must be your child’s advocate. You must look out and speak up for your child, you must take charge because ultimately, no one else will. This brings us back to the purpose and the mission of The Mack Belson Foundation which is to help learning disabled children from families with limited resources. For those of you able to afford the help your child requires, consider yourselves fortunate. For those families that do not have the resources to pursue this help, we are committed to helping you. How much we are able to help all depends on how much we are able to raise. How much we are able to raise depends on all of you. The math is really quite simple, the more we raise, the more we help. It is up to the members of this community to ensure that the funding is there, these children deserve the chance to excel.
It is important that you know that your donations to The Mack Belson Foundation have already begun to make a difference in the lives of children. Last month, our grant board began to give out grants to families in need so you should be proud of yourselves for contributing. The process of change has begun. Our next goal is to establish the Mack Belson Foundation Apple Program. Apple standing for Auditory Processing Plus Learning Enhancements. With your continuing contributions, we hope to be able to create a program that will focus on early intervention for young children with auditory processing disorders and empower them by giving them the tools to overcome their disabilities. Going beyond the traditional therapies by incorporating listening programs, music therapy, sound therapy and more, we hope to plant the seeds and allow this Apple program to grow into a much needed resource for this community. But all of this takes money so we will continue our fundraising efforts. We will continue to make a difference.
It must be clearly understood that the children are the future. It may sound like a clichéd expression but it is a simple truth. It is our responsibility as citizens of this earth to help others, as members of this community to help others. Never underestimate your power as individuals to make a difference in this world because you already have. By supporting The Mack Belson Foundation, each one of you has made a difference, each one of you has become part of a collective, part of a group that has already effectively changed the course and destiny of children’s lives.
Today would have been Mackie’s 5th birthday and no doubt, this has been an extremely emotional day for us. This particular date was chosen on purpose many months ago so that on this very special day, Mack would be remembered fondly and lovingly and that is what we are doing tonight, honouring Mack. Without Mack, there would be no foundation. Life has painfully taught us that you never know what will happen tomorrow. You can have the best intentions and make plans for the future but the reality of it all is that you never know. We live in a chaotic, hectic world where paths are altered as a result of earthquakes, hurricanes, acts of terrorism, school shooting sprees and horrible tragic accidents that take the life of a precious four year old. Life can change in a matter of seconds so rather than live in the world of tomorrow, we must live in the world of today. We have a choice, we can sit back and do nothing or we can take a tragic, life altering event and make sure that something positive comes from it. Today, you can make a difference, today you can help change the course of a child’s life. The choice is up to you. This is what Mack’s legacy will be, that other children will be helped as a result of what we do today. As parents, David and I are no longer able to help Mack, to provide the care that he would need but in turn Mack will continue to help others. We know that Mack’s short life will have such an impact on so many other lives and this is how Mack will live on.
We want to thank each and every one of you here tonight from the bottom of our hearts, and we want to thank every person, company and store that donated money, time, prizes and effort to help us in our mission. We want to spend that last few minutes, personally thanking the people who made this all possible. These people have stood by us from the day we lost Mack, they have supported us and lifted us up when we could not stand on our own. These people have been committed from the very beginning and they deserve to be acknowledged and thanked. First, I want to personally thank my husband David and my beautiful daughter Ruby. We have supported and pushed each other to carry on and go forward in a time of terrible sadness. We are a family forever. I know that Ruby’s destiny has already been altered when she said to me last November “Mummy, when you and Daddy die, I will take over the foundation and make sure that it continues forever”. I want to thank my parents, Lenora & Seymour Mendelman who have had more than their share of heartache, first with the death of my older brother Ronnie almost 6 years ago and then with the death of Mack. I want to thank my mother in law Suzanne Belson who has also had more than her share of heartache. I want to thank my brother, Douglas Mendelman and by brother in law, Andy Stitt. I want to thank the members of The Mack Belson Foundation, which include my husband, my daughter (the best junior secretary ever), my mother, and my mother in law and the following in alphabetical order: Miriam Blumer, Julie Brownstein, Alyssa Glazer, Patti Kurland, Irene Marciano, Mike Rotter, Andi Sterling and Helene Wise. Your dedication to this foundation has been an amazing source of inspiration to us. None of this would have been accomplished without your help. We want to thank the members of our grant board which include Dr. Karen Gazith, Randy Zucker, Dorothy Notkin, Dale Boidman, Tracy Rosen and Helene Kaufman. To Andy Nulman, a thank you for agreeing to host this event before he ever even met us, simply to help the cause. Also, we extend gratitude to all the volunteers here this evening without whom this evening would not be possible. We want to thank the magnitude of people who have reached out to us over the last 9 months and who have offered their help in any way we needed it and for continuing to do so. We thank you for the beautiful letters of sympathy, phone calls, comforting hugs and for not being afraid to speak Mack’s name out loud to us, the one thing we always need to hear. There are too many of you to name but your kindness and your compassion will always be treasured and remembered.
And last but ultimately most significant, we want to thank our beautiful son, Mackenzie Reed Belson, for being such a treasured part of our lives, albeit for only 4 short years but those years were filled with love, laughter and happiness and Mackie, your brilliant, shining smile is forever etched on our hearts and we believe that at this very moment, as always, you are smiling. You have taken up permanent residence in our hearts and minds and we are constantly missing you in our lives. Everywhere we go, everything we do, we carry you with us. Without even being aware of it, life has pushed us forward but like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece, we will ‘never’ be complete without you. This foundation was created in your honour and all the good that will come from it will be your legacy. We made you a promise, months ago on that fateful day that you would never be forgotten. Today, we are as committed to that promise, as ever. We love you now and always and today, on your 5th birthday, we are humbled by a room full of over 500 people who are here tonight to honour you and support the foundation that carries your name.